Change is not hard. Putting aside pride, on the other hand, is.
In my experience, we find it hard to accept there might be a better way to do something. We find it hard to accept that what we believe is wrong. We let pride get in the way of us seeing another, and perhaps better, way to do something.
Change is simply the process of taking a new belief and using it instead of an old one.
Time after time, I have found that my certainty about how best to do something is suddenly unfounded. This idea is true of all aspects of my life, be it how I manage relationships, my career, projects and even how I manage things I need to do, i.e. to-do lists.
I found that I hide behind the beliefs. I have found that when something isn't the way I want it, I stick to what I know even though I know it causes me other problems. I use the excuse of "change is hard" or "people don't change" or "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". This attitude simply gets in the way of me being the person I want to be. The simple fact of the matter is that what makes us humans vastly different than all the other creatures we share this planet with, is that we change. We find better ways of doing things all the time.
Along the way, I learned that the process of enabling this type of change is actually easier than I originally thought:
1) When I find myself disappointed with something I am doing or I perceive others are doing to me, I ask myself "What do I believe to be important about this?" I write these down.
2) Then for each thing I have written down, I ask myself "What is important about this belief? What does it give me? Where does it put me? Where is it used?" I then write these answers down too.
3) For each of the subsequent answers, I ask myself "What is important about this? What is the context of this? What am I assuming?".
4) If I am unsure, I check my memory for other times I have applied the same sort of logic and look for anything else related to assumptions and context.
5) One of two things typically happen next, either I find that I have borrowed this belief or I no longer value the reasons on which the belief was based.
In all cases, I either find a better way or find that I am now willing to search for one. Pride is still a stumbling block, but once I have clarified the reasons behind what I believe, I find it much easier to forgive myself and move on. Don't get me wrong, I don't have all the answers and I definitely haven't got it all right, but I am willing to look for better ways.
(Originally published in 2016 via LinkedIn)
You probably have a lot in common with those I coach. They aren’t strangers to expletives when facing day to day challenges. And, they are keen to not let life pass them by or wash over them.
They believe in freedom and democracy in a world that increasingly wants to judge them by characteristics rather than their character and behaviours.
They subscribe to the idea of bringing forward their individual strengths, rather than succumbing to the will of the herd.
Those drawn to my coaching, have a good bond with means and their careers are progressing well, however, they sense that there is more to do.
They recognise their support structures are not sufficient, and they take action to fix it.
As those I work with can testify, I approach coaching with a no B.S. and straight-forward style.
I engage with your perspective; challenge your thinking through non-judgemental observations and well-formed questions; and I help you stay accountable to your decisions.
Coaching helps you bring focus to ...
This community is one of the primary places to access 1-to-1 coaching from me, Brad Allen.
I am an accredited coach and author, specializing in supporting and challenging people across the globe from some of the biggest and well-known multinational companies.
Through all the hours of coaching and working with real people, with real challenges, it is clear to me that life is brutal, and it is not a walk in the park. Furthermore, there is only so much we can achieve or change in isolation. We need others. We need to be supported and we need to be challenged. Acceptance of these facts is key to learning, growing, and re-emerging stronger.
I help others confront hard choices to act with integrity and re-emerge stronger. I do this through 1-to-1 coaching.
I deliver coaching through a subscription model. I have found this approach is the most effective and efficient method to help you think and act better, as well as keep you accountable. There are three subscription levels: Member, Supporter and ...
This is the Friday Check-In for 23rd April 2021.
Today's theme is... The good, the bad, and the right mindset
In this piece, I look at the why, what, and how of coaching. In doing that, I hold little back. I share the truth about the ugliness it fights and what is truly needed to make it work.
(read it at https://bradallencoach.locals.com/post/648782/the-anatomy-of-coaching )
All Rights Reserved. Copyright (C) 2021 Brad Allen
This is the Friday Check-In for 23rd April 2021.
Today's theme is... The good, the bad, and the right mindset
This is the Friday Check-In for 16th April 2021.
Today's theme is... Corrupting your Focus
So, you now have to QR scan your movements, lockdown every so often, wear masks and front up periodically for boosters. It is just an adjustment of the trade-offs you have already made long ago. A necessary compromise in yourself to get what you need and want.
The compromises make up the walls, floor, and ceiling of the cage you made for yourself. This is the burden of choice.
You are juggling complex layers of conflicting wants, needs, and commitments. The conflict is a burden. Firstly, you must carry the weight of where you find yourself right now. This relates to the impact of your past choices. Secondly, you must carry the weight of the future. This relates to the burden of the choices you have before you now.
You will be reminded daily of the burden of the choices you made in the past (i.e., the aspects in your world that you should continue to nurture or maintain). The obvious example being the emotional and financial support relating to your loved ones. Another example would be...
"Achieving great things requires great people doing their best at what they do. In working with the oceans to develop blue growth strategies and fight climate change, we at Simply Blue Group recognize the value of great people and how important it is to create the conditions for them to be at their best. Our continued growth simply wouldn’t be possible without that.
With things opening up again, it was decided to bring everyone together for a working session. We had grown substantially since the start of 2020 and many of our valued people hadn’t met yet in person. We also had some key challenges to discuss as we aim to continue our exponential growth.
Our objectives for this two-day working session included building and strengthening bonds, and the co-creation of the structures that we need to bring Simply Blue Group forward. In honouring our values and commitment to our people, we recognised that bringing together our 45 strong team from the many corners of the globe was going to require...
Are you just discovering that you have been complicit in the unethical, dangerous or illegal activities of your employer or industry?
What you did or didn't do in the past is done. It is what you do in this moment that frames who you are.
Choose better! Choose authenticity instead!
This can be achieved by raising awareness of core values, the beliefs built on those values, and the resulting behaviours.
The path back to being your best self can be accelerated by working with a professional coach!
Confidentially is assured 😉
